Confessions of a Plant Killer

D. Strauss on why you shouldn’t trust plants

Reading Time: 2 min

Sometimes your plants at home just die on you. But DJ and music journalist D. Strauss also knows why: they don’t deserve any better. And there are reasons for that. Testimony of a confession.

D.Strauss is folding his hands in his lap. We are at his home in Berlin Neukölln. You will find chachkas everywhere, but no green stuff. D. Strauss is a father of one, but he will definitely not raise any plants. On the contrary. “I am afraid of them. No shame in admitting that.“

Strauss has gone through some tough times. When he turned twelve, his grandmother took him on a trip to Israel for his Bar Mitzvah, eventually ending up in a deserted kibbutz guesthouse. Despite the verdant tropicality of the Mediterranean setting, the average visitor was an elderly type who preferred his or her time viewing Israel’s limited television options. The future music critic, on the other hand, mostly spent his time sequestered inside the bungalow, his ear glued to the radio. One morning, he looked through the ventilation slats of his front door to the outside world. Where he found himself spying upon an explosion of foliage, which appeared to be growing rampant: in short, a gigantic plant. He assumed the worst. Plants would take over the world, if he didn’t take action.

We've asked D. Strauss: why are plants not to be trusted?

D.Strauss is especially taken by Kudzu, an invasive species of the bean family.